If the upstairs water dish is empty, then… elderly dog will use her nose to repeatedly slam the toilet seat until we fill the water dish, birdbrain dog will lick the empty water dish until we fill the water dish, Gimli the cat will lick the walls of the bathtub until we fill the water […]
Our garage door doesn’t always work correctly. I could ask the husband to explain exactly what is wrong with the door, but then I would get a lengthy diatribe on the history of garage doors, theoretical mechanics, how we should be using invisible force fields instead of doors and blah, blah, blah. Let’s just say […]
“You’ve trained the cats to beg for food from your dinner plate.” “At least they aren’t raccoons.” “I accidentally cracked my phone screen, but there are not raccoon scratches on our door.” “There’s cat fur all over my clean shirts.” “There ISN’T raccoon fur on your laundry.” “I failed to get the Netflix dvd in […]
Each dog gets a scoop of food twice a day. The scoop is inside the dog food bucket. The old dog likes to have company when she eats. Make sure she doesn’t steal the cat food when she is done with her food. The neurotic dog has to eat in private. If she hears a […]
My thoughts: The children have left for school. I’m going to kick off my slippers, curl up and read my email while I drink my coffee. Dog thoughts: Wait for it. Wait for it. Her slippers are off. Her feet are up. She opened the laptop aaaand…. NOW! Open the door! Let the cat escape! […]
Sawyer: “Westley licked your chicken. Are you still gonna eat it?” SuperTween: “Sure. Westley licked Santa’s cookies and Santa still ate them.”
Once again, the human with the giant claw hands has failed to properly photograph us. Today, she gave us a bath despite our wails of complaint, fed us our bottles that run out of liquid before we are properly satiated and put us in a laundry basket to fully insult our dignity. We tried valiantly […]
It’s not the lack of sleep or being pooped on daily. It’s the constant anxiety and worry.