Housesitter Instructions – Pets

Each dog gets a scoop of food twice a day. The scoop is inside the dog food bucket. The old dog likes to have company when she eats. Make sure she doesn’t steal the cat food when she is done with her food. The neurotic dog has to eat in private. If she hears a […]

animal talk

My thoughts: The children have left for school. I’m going to kick off my slippers, curl up and read my email while I drink my coffee. Dog thoughts: Wait for it. Wait for it. Her slippers are off. Her feet are up. She opened the laptop aaaand…. NOW! Open the door! Let the cat escape! […]

Don’t tell Santa

Sawyer: “Westley licked your chicken. Are you still gonna eat it?” SuperTween: “Sure. Westley licked Santa’s cookies and Santa still ate them.”

A message from the kittens

Once again, the human with the giant claw hands has failed to properly photograph us. Today, she gave us a bath despite our wails of complaint, fed us our bottles that run out of liquid before we are properly satiated and put us in a laundry basket to fully insult our dignity. We tried valiantly […]

every. single. time.

If we have guests, the children put out the most bleach stained, ragged bath towels that we own. If I ask the children to bring me a ratty, old towel for the bottom of the kittens’ box, they bring me one of the few unstained, intact hem, perfect softness bath towels. This must mean that […]

thirsty

Today, Doug turned the water off at the street so that he could repair a leaky basement toilet. It needed to happen. While the children amused themselves with dramatic ‘holding it in’ dances, the animals silently watched. When we discussed taking a quick drive to the corner gas station to use their facilities, the animals […]

imaginary comic strip

Since I didn’t take a college level class on how to draw Grumpy Cat, a textual comic strip of a daily scenario in this house. The first frame is a drawing that represents a cat, sitting on a closed toilet seat, staring at the person sitting in the bathtub. The cat is unreadable, like the […]

Gimli and the Brain

After a long day of, well, I don’t know how the days disappear so quickly, but I was tired so, we did something. I sat on the bed with a heating pad under my feet as I clicked buttons on my computer. The dogs snored from the floor beside the bed and Gimli the cat […]