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Inspired by Very Mom, I will attempt to explain why yesterday my Southern Baptist Mother said “Hee-hee-hee, I’m sorry you had a hee-hee shitty day. Hee-hee-hee.” We are playing a game with Molly that involves walking her first thing in the morning when you are still too sleepy to know what is happening. If she doesn’t go, she gets put in the crate and can only come out to go back outside. The game continues until she does what dogs are supposed to do outside. Yesterday we ran out of time and had to leave for Tommy’s M-team (which you already know was a lousy meeting). Molly is confined to the crate whenever we aren’t home since she gets into enough mischief while we are there. You can probably imagine the punchline to this part of the story. But wait, there’s more. My parents have gone to visit my brother in D.C. (I am sooo jealous) for a week so we are keeping their Corgi. Apparently my father didn’t walk her before he brought her to our house. The deal was that he would bring the Corgi (Crystal) and watch Amy while we went to the meeting. My father decided it would be fun to take Amy to play on Burger King’s indoor playground. He got home before we did so we were very confused why we arrived home to see my Father and Amy playing ball in the pouring rain. He handed us Amy waved and drove away like a race car driver. When we opened the door and saw what Crystal had done and walked all over the living room followed by what Molly had done and stomped in, we almost fell over from the smell. So, while Amy chanted “Ewww, Molly pooped” over and over, we cleaned and scrubbed and muttered ugly words. My mother called many hours later to check on her dog and I told her the story. I’m glad she thought it was funny.

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