Inspired by Kristy's very courageous blog entry I'll tell a story that I almost NEVER tell only because I want to eventually make a point. When I was 14 I was still a straight A student who rarely got in trouble while my peers were all messing with inhalants (locker room), smoking, drinking and breaking their septums to spit blood (Kiss was still very big). I desperately wanted to feel liked instead of invisible. One weekend evening I was spending the night at my best friend's house. She was the youngest of seven and her older siblings and parents were all out drinking at clubs. We sat around smoking cigarettes and improving our ability to actually inhale. At some point my friend went to bed and I was left watching tv when her 20-something older brother came home, very intoxicated. He almost immediately leaned over and kissed me. I felt honored to be getting attention from him. He very quickly started moving my clothing out of the way and climbing on top of me. I was terrified. Pushing, hitting and scratching had no effect on his determination. What followed was painful, unpleasant and very confusing. When I grew exhausted from fighting him, I decided to just go limp, close my eyes and take myself someplace else. It made no difference to him. When he finished after what seemed like forever, he put his finger to his lips and made a frightening face to me that let me know I had better not discuss what happened. Immediately after I blamed myself since I allowed the kiss to happen and that must have given him permission. Over time I rationalized and mixed things up even more in my head. I decided that it was what was expected and fighting it only hurt. I changed as a person and a student. I dated men much older than myself, stopped caring about school and seriously disappointed my parents. It took me a lifetime to see clearly what happened that night and stop taking all of the blame on myself. The point of this long story is that when you see statistics on sexual assaults, know that MOST assaults are never reported.