6 thoughts on “112109298776809634

  1. Men have nipples to help babies’ brains evolve. Up until that faithful night when dad shirtlessly crawls into bed and mom says, “here hold junior” all conflict to baby has been external.

    First major conflict, the flush, was out of his control. He was there, wet, warm, happy and suddenly the tub drained, the walls closed in, the cannon fired and it was bright and cold and some sadist was smacking him on the bottom.

    Second major conflict, he’s happily pondering what a stud he’ll be when he is older when Rabbi Leben waltzes in with his cigar snip and shaves a couple inches.

    Third major conflict is also completely of out his control. He’s just learning how to use this rubbery thing in his mouth when in walks the doc and suddenly he can do Gene Simmons’ immitations.

    The list goes on but the nipple! The nipple is self-inflicted. He looks, he see that it is different but he goes for it anyway and suddenly there is conflict. The world is not all flowing with nutrients! There are crackly, barren spots with shrubs growing that tickle the nose. He makes a choice and tries again to the horror! The nipple my friends is the origin of reason, the birth of rationale thought, the seed of lateral thinking. Without male nipples there would be no logic or problem solving abilities; on the flipside, without female nipples, men could think straight.

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