monday, monday

I am soooo tired. This has got to be one of the worst days of my mother’s life. Even on morphine, she’s in terrible pain. I asked a wise looking nurse if it would be better after the first 24 hours and she grimaced and said, “Day three is the worst.” Tomorrow they remove the inflatable pressure bandages and she tries bending one while the other knee is going to be in a brace for some time. Poor Doug is playing Mommy while I am at the hospital and I feel like I am being a terrible wife, mother AND daughter. Hello, my name is Cathy. How can I disappoint and not help YOU? At least tomorrow my mother can have solid food, so I can sneak her something tastier than the nasty cream-of-nothing soup I fed her tonight.

10 thoughts on “monday, monday

  1. You are an AWESOME wife, mother and daughter! And don’t you EVER doubt that for a single minute!

    Now I’m not as knowledgable on the wife thing, but I know Doug will attest to that, even if I have to kick him in the shins to make him pay attention here. On the mother and daughter thing … well, I have watched you with your kids, read your words here, and I know in my mother’s heart of hearts that I have only admiration for you. As the daughter of aging parents, I know the feeling of being tugged in different directions, and the fear that I can never take care of them as well as they took care of me. My dad has been in the hospital three times in the last 6 months, two planned, one emergency. I want to be there for them, and stacking my priorities and meeting my obligations to work and kids is enough to make one’s head implode. But somehow we make it through … ’cause that’s what awesome women like us do.

    I would also bet that time for you and your needs tends to get lost in all that too. What has Cathy done for Cathy lately? You are just as important as everyone else. Be gentle on yourself. Give yourself a present. Take care of yourself first, so you can be your best for everyone else.

  2. I thought our day went pretty smoothly all things considered. I got work done. The kids were fine. And you were where you needed to be the most. The only thing we did wrong was leaving the kids at the hospital for that final hour and a half in the evening instead of having them come to Star with me.

    You are Super Woman! We love you!

  3. Sorry to hear about mom.

    I don’t think I can add anything to what others have said above. And don’t want to risk “foot in mouth disease” as The Certifiable Brother did, so I will leave it as “Ditto what everybody else said”

  4. Yes, I did. One who goes out, works hard to support her mom in a time of need, then frets that she’s failing her mom, her family, and unnamed other parties is, by definition, neurotic.

    By all objective accounts, you were in the zone. You were there when mom needed you and your partner had your back on the homefront. Everybody was made happier because of the effort you put out and you kicked ass. Matt and I couldn’t be there and we’re proud of you.

    So, yes, I called you neurotic. Stop it and just feel good about the good things you do. You deserve that.

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