After spending time at two popular nursing homes and touring more than I can count, my mother ( in denial) has moved my grandmother back to an assisted living facility. Since my grandmother meets none of the criteria for assisted living, she has a personal aide 24/7. I sarcastically suggested to my mother that she look into hiring an aide similar to the way construction crews hire the workers who stand in the Home Depot parking lot. Yes, I know that is very politically incorrect, but except for meals, the aides don’t actually do anything. They watch television, knit, talk on the phone and nap. To further annoy the politically correct, my mother has resumed her “put me on an ice flow” request for when she becomes severely incompetent. While the ice flow technique is preferable to putting my father in charge of the decisions, I suggested that global warming might make ice flows unavailable to her. She decided that since my father denies the existence of global warming, it would have to remain an option.