Doug the Gardener


Did you watch the video above? I gave Doug a week to post the video and tell his version of the story, but he’s been hanging out with the conspiracy theorists all week, so I’ll try to explain the video. Last weekend, we went out to get started on the clearing of the flowerbeds in the special education courtyard at BMS. I had already declared that we were lacking enough equipment and strong arms and should call it a day. Well, I really wanted to keep going, but I had worked up a good blister on my thumb and I’m wimpy like that. At any rate, Doug knew that we really needed to make a bigger dent in the work and went to town with the machete. I pulled out the camera to capture his destruction of the shrubbery. I had just moved to a different angle when I heard a noise in the bushes. My train of thought went really quickly. Bunny? No. Birds? Nest! Turn off camera before blood appears on-screen! Doug’s reaction went something like – chop, chop, uh-oh, “Everybody to the car! Now! Time to go!” After he watched the video a few hundred times, trying to punish himself for not stopping sooner, he pointed out that a REAL photographer would have kept the camera rolling. I sent him back to the school the next day to make sure that the summer school children wouldn’t be traumatized by any dead birds. It wasn’t until he started to bury the birds that he realized they were still alive. We stayed away all week in the hope that the birds would mature enough to fly away. Unless it’s pouring rain, we’ll go back this Saturday from 12 until 2 to try and make some progress. Anyone in Knoxville who’s not leaving town for the holiday would be more than appreciated if they stopped by to do some demolition work. If you bring a chainsaw, sledgehammer or work crew, we’d love you forever.

Update: The nests were empty and we found no former residents.

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