April Fool’s dread

When children are young, April Fool’s Day is silly and fun. By the time they enter middle school, April Fool’s Day is a source of anxiety for parents. It’s not worry about what they will do at home. Febreeze sprayed on the spaghetti. An entire container of laundry detergent spilled on the floor. Nastiness tracked in on the bottoms of their shoes. A bed with freshly washed sheets soaked by a bowl of dog water. Those things have already happened this week. The things children do on “accident” are far worse than the deliberate pranks. The problem is that the onset of adolescence means the temporary suspension of the ability to think before doing. Those impulsive pranks guarantee a phone call from the vice principal. “This is Mr. B at the school.” Words that make my stomach flip and my affect become flat as I prepare myself to hear what stupid thing my child has decided to do in the name of April first. For everyone’s safety, April 1st should be an in-service for teachers and a day of not leaving the house for teenagers. Since the schools don’t agree with me, I think I’ll forward my calls to Doug and wear headphones all day tomorrow.

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