Snails in aquariums are useful and interesting. Everyone can stare at the tiny creature because it cleans the slime on the glass walls of the tank. Homes need something like snails. You could give the house snail a name, like Gary. Watching Gary would be interesting, but more importantly, Gary would silently eat the dust that has collected on every surface in the time it took you to sit down after dusting and polishing the room.

Wait. House snails would need to poop, wouldn’t they? Maybe house snails could poop odorless nutrients in house plants. If I’m going to have an imaginary creature, I can imagine odorless and fertilizing poop.

My imagination will never write a made-for-SyFy movie. I’m more Nickelodeon’s style.