Antimony is one. Maturity and self control are right around the corner. Any day now, she’ll respond to a “sit” command without giving side eye first. Socks in our house are going to have longer lifespans. Visitors will soon be able to enter the house without fear of being knocked over and coated in saliva.

Yeah, right.

Fantasy aside, I keep forgetting that I need to add soap to the shopping list. Annie stole the last bar from the tub, chewed on it just enough to leave white flakes all over the living room floor and couch, then buried the remains between couch cushions. You’d think soap would be super easy to clean since it’s a cleaning product, but you’d be wrong. Every swipe with a rag produces enough bubbles to give skinned knee and peroxide flashbacks.

I love this goofy dog. She’s exactly where she belongs and just what we needed.