1. Sing out loud I have a voice made for silent movies, but I sing when I’m driving. I’m quieter when the children are in the car, but I still sing. I don’t stop singing at red lights. It makes no difference to me what I look like to other drivers. If I’m singing, I’m […]
After Halloween, I put our pumpkins on the wildlife viewing area known as our back porch. I’ve seen all the adorable pictures of zoo animals happily eating leftover pumpkins. Our raccoons, possums, skunk, owl, hawks, squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits and deer aren’t traditional zoo animals, but I thought it was worth a try. Neither the carved […]
If the upstairs water dish is empty, then… elderly dog will use her nose to repeatedly slam the toilet seat until we fill the water dish, birdbrain dog will lick the empty water dish until we fill the water dish, Gimli the cat will lick the walls of the bathtub until we fill the water […]
Our garage door doesn’t always work correctly. I could ask the husband to explain exactly what is wrong with the door, but then I would get a lengthy diatribe on the history of garage doors, theoretical mechanics, how we should be using invisible force fields instead of doors and blah, blah, blah. Let’s just say […]
“You’ve trained the cats to beg for food from your dinner plate.” “At least they aren’t raccoons.” “I accidentally cracked my phone screen, but there are not raccoon scratches on our door.” “There’s cat fur all over my clean shirts.” “There ISN’T raccoon fur on your laundry.” “I failed to get the Netflix dvd in […]
Each dog gets a scoop of food twice a day. The scoop is inside the dog food bucket. The old dog likes to have company when she eats. Make sure she doesn’t steal the cat food when she is done with her food. The neurotic dog has to eat in private. If she hears a […]
My thoughts: The children have left for school. I’m going to kick off my slippers, curl up and read my email while I drink my coffee. Dog thoughts: Wait for it. Wait for it. Her slippers are off. Her feet are up. She opened the laptop aaaand…. NOW! Open the door! Let the cat escape! […]
Sawyer: “Westley licked your chicken. Are you still gonna eat it?” SuperTween: “Sure. Westley licked Santa’s cookies and Santa still ate them.”