Category: kid quotes
Evan the tattletale
Evan: “I lock you outside.” Me: “No. Let’s not lock Mommy outside today. Did you lock Daddy outside when Mommy wasn’t home?” Evan: “Yeah. Daddy say, D*mm*t Evan. I working ‘puter. Open door.” Me: “DOUG!”
Sarah says:
Danny: “What is at the top of your must-see list?” Me: “Since we don’t have much time, we’re thinking the National Mall.” Sarah: “Oh! Is that the mall with three floors of shops?”
democracy in the family
Dad: “Let’s plan this week’s menu democratically.” Amy: “What’s that mean?” Me: “It means we fight amongst ourselves.”
Amy says:
*Me: “Who wrote on this door?” Amy: “Me, but . . . I did it for you Mommy. Because I looove you.” Me: “You can write things for me on paper.” Amy: “Paper gets throwed away. I’ve seen it in the trash. The door is forever.” * – Rhetorical. Each child’s writing and drawing style […]
no student drivers
Tommy: “Why don’t you ever let Sarah or I drive when you’re in the car?” Me: “Because I am delicately balanced between sanity and insanity. Your father is already insane, so he has nothing to lose. He will teach you to drive.” Tommy: “Oh, that makes sense.”
Amy says:
Amy: “Next time I get my face painted, I’m gonna ask for a mustache so people will think I’m a grown-up.” Me: “Only boys get mustaches.” Amy: “Nuh-uh. Lots of old ladies have mustaches.” Me: blink-blink
just two more
Tomorrow is Amy’s 6th birthday. We celebrated her birthday two weeks ago when all of the cousins were visiting. We made a big deal about it and she was fine with it. Well, she was until I was tucking her in bed last night. Amy: “My birthday is Tuesday.” Me: “Yes it is, but you […]
Amy says:
Me: “You are a first grader now.” Amy: “No. I’m staying in Kindergarten.” Me: “No. You will be at the same school, but you’ll have a new teacher so you can learn new things.” Amy: “No. Miss C is gonna hide us in our cubbies so we never hafta leave her class.” Me: “Miss C […]
Sarah says:
Sarah: “Mom? I have a question.” Me: “The answer is no.” Sarah: exasperated “I didn’t even ask the question yet.” Me: “You are going to ask to spend the night with E.” Sarah: “But, tomorrow is the last day of school and my exams are super easy.” Me: “Congratulations on the end of school. You […]