At some point, I need to crawl out of the quicksand of depression and fake Ça ne fait rien long enough to tell the youngest children that Starving Artist isn’t coming home for Thanksgiving because travel costs are doubled on holidays. After I tell them, I will resume hating myself for encouraging Starving Artist to […]
When my children were babies, my recurring nightmare was a toddler knocking the car into gear and the car rolling away while I stood beside it, holding an infant in a car seat. Sunday night, I dreamed all night about trying to escape rising waters. At some point in the dream, I became separated from […]
I like jigsaw puzzles. The only thing that prevents me from always having a puzzle in progress is my failure to convince Pomegranate to let me be a puzzle tester. Even with large gaps of time between puzzles, they are a familiar enough sight that visitors comment when there ISN’T a puzzle on the table. […]
As a child, babysitters during the daytime were extremely rare and used only for PTA meetings that couldn’t happen with small children running amuck. I remember vividly the baby sitter who taught us to make flowers with coat hangers and kleenex. I thought she was the coolest sitter ever and brought her every single shoebox […]
The not-a-child formerly known as Aspie Caveman shall now be called Stacheman. The former Sparkly NY Vampire Teen will now be dubbed Starving Artist. The middle child who was uncreatively labeled The Teen is now Professor Teen. She who was only known by her age, as in, the 10-y-o, is now SuperTween. He who once […]
This week, I… talked about menstruation with my 9-y-o daughter, talked about childbirth with my 6-y-o son, and talked about HPV with my teenage son. Parenting is not for the timid.
Me: “I stapled my thumb and broke two fingernails, but I think Amy’s project is done now. How’s Evan’s project?” Doug: “I electrocuted myself.” Me: “You win.”
“When I grow up, I’m gonna be a cool dude rapper with lots of girls liking me.” Since he was a toddler, the child who is so pale he gets a sunburn while fully clothed has pointed at male teens and twenty-somethings with dark skin and loudly declared them to be cool dudes. I never […]
Me: “Today is Carl Sagan Day.” Noah: “Who?” Me: “Oh, Noah. Get out your iPad and accurately describe Carl Sagan in 140 characters.” Noah: “Seriously?” Me: “Completely serious. Didn’t you ever wonder why your dad and I like to say bill-i-ons and bill-i-ons?” Noah: “No. You guys say LOTS of weird stuff.” You know that […]
That is probably the cleanest picture I took during my New York visit. I also like my less impressive, cell phone picture of the Bethesda Fountain. Neither picture is my favorite. My favorite picture was taken less than a minute after the sparkly Manhattan picture at the top of this post when I turned the […]