I have a few (shut-up Doug) self-esteem issues. I’ve joked before that we don’t go to parties because I’d be hiding under tables while Doug used tools to make sure the tables were aligned correctly. Yesterday at Target, Amy decided to exhibit her less-than-charming ability to throw a huge tantrum. My father tried to end […]
“This is my best day EVER.” After I allowed him to put ice on his sleeping older brother and sister and after they threw ice back at him. It was even after Sarah reacted in a way that would have frightened Linda Blair. I guess my children need trays of ice for Christmas.
After weeks of listening to me whine about Evan’s endless visits to the fridge for art supplies, Doug finally realized what his day would be like when he was left home alone with Evan and Amy. Wednesday night he added something to the ketchup, taco sauce, chocolate syrup and milk holder. Hooray! Thanks Doug!
And lo, the mother dissolved the ban on snack chips and brought into the household a bag of pretzels and there was much rejoicing among the children. For the pretzels fill the stomach and leave no space for nutrition and this made the children glad. But, still I speak into thine ears and proclaim that […]
Sweet, sticky baby whose food was too fun to eat. Mommy needs a bath.
Amy has homework to do for preschool. Will she be bringing home fundraiser materials that she has to sell door-to-door next?
Amy and Evan have been sitting 6 inches from the television staring at it for too long today. If you were watching the video feed you would know that. Before they get stiff necks I think it’s time to get out and do something. Something really exciting like buying diapers. Update – Maybe we should […]
Doug and I were both taking anti-depressants when we first got married. There may have been other things involved in Amy’s unexpected conception at the hotel in Gatlinburg (during a NAMI convention, ironically). I stopped the Prozac as soon as I realized Amy was joining our family. I am absolutely certain that the prozac in […]
I know I’m old and stupid, but there’s NO WAY I’m going to sign a blank piece of paper Sarah. You may as well learn to fake my signature. “But I’m gonna write the note on the way to school tomorrow.”
While Doug was pointing out his most recent construction injuries to Tommy, I explained that Doug hurts himself on purpose to get attention. Me – “And it hurts here and here.” Doug – “Yes, now kiss it and make it better, here and here.” Tommy – “And further down south.” Me – “Did you hear […]