Tommy: “Some girl on campus walked up to me and said I look like a gamer.” Me: “What did you say to her?” Tommy: “I thanked her.” Noah: “Do speedometers have negative numbers when cars are driving in reverse?” Me: “You are either moving or you are still. Speed is not directional.” Noah: “I just […]
I’m not joking. If you don’t have small children and bathroom functions are not a constant topic of conversation for you, look away now. I am going to talk about it. Really. Are you still reading? Okay, here goes: As I looked out back to peek at Amy and Evan jumping on the trampoline, I […]
Last year, Evan’s preschool asked parents to create a collage that would introduce their child to the teachers. This was our first attempt: This year, for an assortment of reasons, which actually include a crazy stalker, we switched preschools. The new preschool asked for a family picture. We don’t have an official family picture, so […]
“Evan, I am walking downstairs to put clothes in the dryer. Please behave.” “No. I gotta be BAD today.” I really wish his preschool had an opening in the three half days a week program. Two half days doesn’t seem like enough time to get the bad out of his system interact with peers.
“Moooom! Evan is running around the house covered with soap.” “How did he get soap all over himself when the bathtub is dry?” “Weeeell, he took off his clothes and climbed in the sink and he squirted soap on his back and then he smeared it everywhere.” “He put soap on his own back?” “Yes.” […]
Yesterday, Amy and Evan disappeared in the creek that borders our yard. Molly’s barking alerted me that something was wrong and adrenaline fueled Doug found them before anything bad could happen. The children got a lecture that started at the creek, continued to the back porch where their muddy exteriors were shed and lasted through […]
Amy: “Evan, you stay out of my room or I will call the police and they’ll put you in jail.” Evan: “Mommmmy!” – – – – – – – – – – – – – Amy: “Where’s my penguin that was in the living room?’ Evan: “I called police and they put it in jail.” […]
Evan: “What’s text?” Amy: “That’s when you use your thumbs to write words on the phone.” Evan: “I get to press buttons?” Amy: “Yes.” Evan: “Can I do that now?” Amy: “If you got one.” Evan: racing out of the room “I gotta go find a phone.”
Barry: “The only thing she doesn’t blog about is her children sitting quietly.” Actually, there is an increasingly lengthy list of incidents, behaviors and observations that I haven’t been putting in writing. Since I know that everything I don’t write will rapidly be forgotten, I need to revert to journaling the good, bad and everything […]
Me: “Evan? Where are your clothes?” Evan: “They’re lost, but . . . (runs to bed and throws himself on top of a wadded up blanket) don’t look under here.” Bonus Amy quote: “It’s not fair that Evan gets to pee outside and I don’t.”