Yesterday, Noah brought home a note that none of my children have ever brought home before. He handed it to me nervously and before I had finished reading the first sentence, Noah started to beg. “Please don’t sign it Mom.” His reasons not to sign it ranged from practical to pitiful. I signed it anyway. […]
Tommy: “Some girl on campus walked up to me and said I look like a gamer.” Me: “What did you say to her?” Tommy: “I thanked her.” Noah: “Do speedometers have negative numbers when cars are driving in reverse?” Me: “You are either moving or you are still. Speed is not directional.” Noah: “I just […]
While putting clean clothes away in the girls’ room, I found a pile of garbage shoved in the corner of the closet. I threw it away. A few days later, I found a pile of empty mac ‘n cheese boxes under Sarah’s desk. I piled them all on top of her bed, which is my […]
Today was Tommy’s first day at Pellissippi State. We’re treating it like his freshman year of college, even though he spent a year at LMU. Well, Tommy is treating it like his freshman year. Everyone else in the family is prepared for one very exhausting semester of push, push, pushing Tommy to act like a […]
Tommy: “I own a pair of jeans and a bunch of t-shirts. Why would I need anything else?” Sarah: “I don’t need anything new. Except this. And this. And that.” Noah: “Uhh, what’s wrong with last year’s clothes?” Amy: “Okay, I really need this outfit and that outfit, but I hafta have earrings to match […]
I say: “It’s not just the rain that makes driving dangerous. It’s also oils that come out of the asphalt when it first starts to sprinkle.” They hear: “Mwah, mwah, mwah, you are a terrible driver, mwah, mwah, mwah.” I say: “When you are texting while doing something else, you are missing out on part […]
Even with a drum saving Sarah’s boyfriend from being squished by a teen driver, I forget that we’ve been doing band camp for three years now. It has poured rain every day this week, but the band is still marching, every day, in the monsoon, from 8 in the morning until 8:30 or 9 every […]
Other parent: “Our children are going to be embarrassed that their school is Title 1.” Principal: “I understand. They’re probably talking about this on Facebook.” Me: “Unless there’s a Title 1 quiz, I don’t think ANY middle schooler is discussing this on Facebook.” Other parent: blink-blink
Yesterday, Amy and Evan disappeared in the creek that borders our yard. Molly’s barking alerted me that something was wrong and adrenaline fueled Doug found them before anything bad could happen. The children got a lecture that started at the creek, continued to the back porch where their muddy exteriors were shed and lasted through […]
Me: “You won’t find the person you are meant to be with if you never leave the house.” Tommy: “I’m going to meet someone on WoW.” Updated with a bonus Tommyism: Tommy and a friend decided that they were going to a party. I got upset that Tommy couldn’t provide me with an address of […]