Not seen in Highlights

Goofus wakes up at 11:30 a.m., sees his spouse cleaning the clutter in a child’s room and complains because nothing should ever be thrown in the trash. Gallant sleeps late on his only day off, gets up to find his spouse cleaning and silently vanishes until he has a salted caramel mocha for his spouse […]

How to: dust houseplants

1. While moving furniture to sweep, notice the dust on the leaves of a houseplant. 2. Spray furniture polish on an old shirt/new dust rag. 3. Beginning at the top of the plant, gently wipe the top surface of each leaf. 4. Discover dried splash of what appears to be the children’s gogurt. 5. Gently […]

wonder how long this will last

Amy: “I’m done mopping the kitchen floor.” Me: “It looks wonderful. Thank you for being so helpful.” Amy: “I clean it better than you do Mommy.” Me: “You’re right and that’s why you get to clean the kitchen floor EVERY DAY.” Amy: “Hooray!” I think the hooray would last longer if Swiffer made a WetJet […]

one bag of broken army men please

While I was making the weekly drive to bring Tommy home from LMU for the weekend, Doug stayed home to work and watch Evan. One of the many disasters I came home to find was the ruins of an epic battle involving small plastic army men and a wooden train. As I was tossing the […]

bad mommy

“Mom, where’s my *stick collection?” “Your what?” “My sticks. I collect one everywhere I go.” Suddenly I have an image of the pile of dirty, broken, bug infested kindling that I found **under the kitchen table and threw in the trash. “Umm, I think it got accidentally thrown away..” Begin crying, wailing and moaning that […]