A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. “I’m going on a sabbatical to Rome,” he replied, “and
while I’m there, I’ll light a candle for you.”

When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple’s house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins.

Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.

“He’s gone to Rome, to blow that candle out” came the harried reply.

Amy walked up to Cathy and stared at her hair. As mother scrubbed on the dishes, the girl cleared her throat and sweetly asked; “Why do you have some grey strands in your hair?”

Cathy paused and looked at her daughter. “Every time you disobey, I get one strand of grey hair. If you want me to stay pretty, you better obey.”
Cathy quickly returned to her task of washing dishes.
At that moment, Sarah walked into the room and said, “Ask her why is Grandma’s hair all grey?”

What I was told - Children brighten any home.

What was omitted - It is because they never turn off a light.

Noah: “Dad I don’t like the holes in the cheese!”

Doug: “Eat the cheese and leave the holes on the
side of the plate.”

Sorry, that’s all I got at the moment.

Hope you feel cheerier soon (despite my lame attempts)

Hey… Would it help if I told you that the Chocolate Chip Cookie Care Package went out to you today. (and actually meant it. Because it did)

The gray hair one was pretty good, but the care package is exciting! Thank you guys!

Well, your day could be worse, if that’s any consolation. That will sound inane to other folks, but you know what my day was like.