“How about putting it in a tortilla with sour cream and cheese?” “We can mix it with egg noodles and cheese.” “What kind of cheese pairs best with it?” “I don’t think it matters. Use the kind we put on tacos.” “There’s no cheese in the fridge. If we have to visit the grocery anyway, […]


“We don’t have the salt until Labor Day.” Buried deep under the tiny *coffee shop, there is a time release vault. It is filled with minerals, or as some call it, spice. The vault is only opened once a year and care is taken to remove far less than is needed to make the mineral […]

grocery fail

He: “Don’t forget mustard. We’ve been out since the fridge died.” She: “We’re out of all canned vegetables except peas.” We bought peas. We didn’t buy mustard.

stuck in a loop

1. Open fridge doors. 2. Stare blankly at fridge contents. 3. Close fridge doors. 4. Return to step one.

condiment priority

“We have chicken nuggets almost every day at the middle school.” “Sweet! I can’t wait for middle school. Wait. Do you have bbq sauce?” “No. We only have ketchup.” “Am I allowed to bring my own bbq sauce?” “Sure.” “Excellent.” Dear Middle School, Please allow my child to carry a bottle of bbq sauce in […]

Thanksgiving meh

I know that my role in this family is to make holidays happen. Not because they are holidays, but to create traditions for framing memories and celebrations to avoid getting lost in the mundane. I honestly don’t enjoy Thanksgiving. It’s a meal as a family. We eat meals as a family every day. Some of […]


Pajama shelf bra: Bib for dropped late night popcorn.


Everything that I love and hate about our kitchen in 45 seconds. Bonus points if you can identify two East Tennessee iconic businesses whose products are visible in the video. Double bonus if you know which child flashes a peace sign near the beginning of the video.

marching bands grow grapefruit

“Our Christmas grapefruit is here!” “How do you know that it’s grapefruit? It could be oranges or pears.” “Oranges and pears come from the grocery. Grapefruit comes in a box from UPS.” Maybe we should buy grapefruit more often.