He: “Don’t forget mustard. We’ve been out since the fridge died.” She: “We’re out of all canned vegetables except peas.” We bought peas. We didn’t buy mustard.
1. Open fridge doors. 2. Stare blankly at fridge contents. 3. Close fridge doors. 4. Return to step one.
“We have chicken nuggets almost every day at the middle school.” “Sweet! I can’t wait for middle school. Wait. Do you have bbq sauce?” “No. We only have ketchup.” “Am I allowed to bring my own bbq sauce?” “Sure.” “Excellent.” Dear Middle School, Please allow my child to carry a bottle of bbq sauce in […]
I know that my role in this family is to make holidays happen. Not because they are holidays, but to create traditions for framing memories and celebrations to avoid getting lost in the mundane. I honestly don’t enjoy Thanksgiving. It’s a meal as a family. We eat meals as a family every day. Some of […]
Pajama shelf bra: Bib for dropped late night popcorn.
Everything that I love and hate about our kitchen in 45 seconds. Bonus points if you can identify two East Tennessee iconic businesses whose products are visible in the video. Double bonus if you know which child flashes a peace sign near the beginning of the video.
“Our Christmas grapefruit is here!” “How do you know that it’s grapefruit? It could be oranges or pears.” “Oranges and pears come from the grocery. Grapefruit comes in a box from UPS.” Maybe we should buy grapefruit more often.
“I’m putting the leftovers out for dinner. Where are the green olives?” “I ate them.” “Where are the shrimp?” “I ate them.” “Where are the black olives?” “I ate them.” “Do you want me to fix you a plate of meat and vegetables?” “No. I’m not hungry.”
The plan was simple. We would cook the meats and dessert. Granny would bring the sides. After spending Tuesday shopping for and purchasing our assigned groceries, we returned home in the evening to discover that Granny had purchased ham and turkey. Now, we have lots of meat and zero side dishes. What kind of lazy […]