I am completely stir-crazy. I can’t afford to go anywhere or do anything (including waste the car’s gas) but I haven’t done anything for weeks. Doug is gone all the time now doing home repair work for friends (oh, the irony) and visiting recruiters to ask when he’ll have an interview somewhere. I want to sit in the food court and eat ‘Bourbon Chicken’ after looking at all the clearance racks in ‘Gap Kids’ and ‘Parisian’s’ kids departments. I want to buy cute locker accessories for Sarah and Tommy. I want to wander PetSmart with Molly and let her pick out her own toys. I want to let Amy pick out just the right book at Borders for an hour while I drink a mocha. I want to go out to eat with my family and see a movie alone with my husband. I want some hot Krispy Kreme donuts. I want to fill a shopping cart with groceries. I need to stop acting like a brat and saying what I want. I need to get over myself already. I’ll settle for long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last for seven days. I’ll take holding Doug’s strong hands that make me feel calm, safe and loved.

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