One of the benefits (disadvantages?) of growing up in the south is that you see a lot of things you don’t see in the city. I have seen a vet remove a horse’s ‘jewels’ and toss them to the farm dog who promptly ate them (the dog, not the vet). Stop crossing your legs and moaning, the horse was completely undisturbed by the procedure and the vet quickly stitched the empty pouch closed. The point of this story is that it seems to me I could perform the same procedure on Doug if I moved fast enough. OK, maybe not. Maybe I just threaten it when I’m in a testy mood because I need to get out of the house.
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A tight rubber band might do the trick.
Am I some kind of loser and don’t even know the address of my own blog? I guess so … (link corrected on this comment.)
I was just about to go get lunch when I read this post. But now I can’t get the image of the dog eating a horse’s balls out of my head. Looks like I’ll be skipping lunch today. Thanks! hahaha..
huh…huh…you said testie..
I hear what you’re saying.
I was observing our local vet as part of the gifted/talented program in high school… he had a cow with a prolapsed uterus. Imagine a man with his arm up a cow’s bum, all the way to his shoulder. Then he took a huge curved needle, threaded with what amounted to a big shoelace and stitched her shut with a series of big X’s. I have never forgotten it.
I’ve seen the same thing with cattle – leaves a picture in your mind that is hard to forget isn’t it? lol
Maybe just a cattle prod would be sufficient and somehow less cruel to the jewels..methinks..lol.
Tell people that you “have to have a vasectomy” and they point and laugh. Tell them “I have to have either a deferentectomy or maybe a gonangiectomy; probably both.” and watch the sympathy flow! “Dude, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you know how long you have?” “Oh yeah! 30 days! And that’s AFTER the surgery!”
Vasectomy ( v-skt-m, v-zk- )
n. pl. vaÂ·secÂ·toÂ·mies
A man’s second puberty when his voice changes and things between his legs suddenly work differently.
[n.b. There should be no proper usage of this word in the plural form…EVER!]
v. vaÂ·secÂ·toÂ·ming, vaÂ·secÂ·toÂ·mied
1) To disarm. To unload.
2) The process by which a man with a tired wife hopes to continue his sex life. e.g.George vasectomied only to learn that a tired wife is still a tired wife.
Vasectomy – Turkish for “Owwwwiieee!”
Vasectomy – Australian for “Now that’s a knife!”
Vasectomy – Drunk American for “Why not? Vat sound funny!”
Vasectomy – Catholic for “You gotta be kidding!”
Were we supposed to be comforting you Doug? Ooops lol
You guys are so comforting.
You’re a few months too late, don’t you think?