Momma bear

Today the entire family, including grandparents, cousins, Aunt Carmen and Uncle Matt, all went out to eat at a very noisy family restaurant.  It was so loud that I couldn’t hear the people across the table from us.  A small child in the corner tooted on a toy horn and I was able to identify it only because it didn’t blend into the rumbling, laughing, plate clanking noises of the restaurant.  Tommy, being an Aspie, likes to pick a motion, activity or noise that satisfies his need to “stim” and repeat it a zillion, trillion times.  Today he chose to click a baby toy over and over.  It was THIS toy.  I was directly across from him and I didn’t notice it with all the other noise in the room.  Doug did though, because you could identify it as unusual.  Before our food had even been served, some woman THREE tables away walked up to Tommy and VERY tersely told him to “put that away because you are being very rude and annoying.”  I was and still am pi**ed.  If it had been a small child or someone with an obvious disability she would have ignored it.  She saw a teenager with long hair and decided to correct him.  I am not a confrontational person, so I just let it ruin my day instead of going over to her table and scolding HER.  If the restaurant had been quiet, I wouldn’t have allowed the clicking, but this restaurant was loud and Tommy was doing what he had to do to stay calm in a noisy place.  Doug thinks I am too close to the situation to see this from the other restaurant patrons points of view.  I don’t.  I think this was wrong and that woman was a self-righteous b***h who needed to be told she was scolding a child with a disability when her group’s big mouths were quite audible all throughout the restaurant.  If this ever happens again, I think I WILL say what I want to say instead of letting someone else ruin my day and Tommy’s meal with their ignorance and intolerance.

8 thoughts on “Momma bear

  1. Oh, my dear! You should not have allowed this to go unchecked. Self-Important Twits like this lady need a lesson that can only be taught in public, with humiliation.

    Sorry you had to endure it.

  2. Doug is sleeping alone tonight. Tommy was doing what he had to do to stay calm in a very noisy environment. Doug has forgotten how Tommy used to meltdown in the mall or Sams because the noise was overwhelming. Doug wasn’t with Tommy and I when we were kicked out of a hotel at 2 in the morning because Tommy couldn’t quit talking.

  3. I do not want to sleep alone tonight. The woman is right. The woman is right!

    But, I don’t see how this is any different than us teaching him to keep his hand twitching under the table as to “be less noticeable.” The noise was unbearable and stressful to non-aspies. The torment for Tommy and the exertion of selfcontrol he used to maintain himself must have been enormous. But he should have chosen something different, something that did not ring out over the noise of the crowd. We should have cued off his fidget choice and redirected him or offered him a break from the noise.

  4. Whether or not there is something that could be done in the future, is a moot point, the lady that was so rude as to decide to pick this out in a busy crowded restaurant deserved to be thrashed about the face and neck… and taught some manners of her own. Even if this was the most hiddeous sound to man… in a QUIET location, there is still a way to go about it with manners and decorum, and this lady apparently knew nothing about either of those concepts.

  5. I agree. And there were 6 adults at the table that she could have chosen to speak with instead of addressing the child directly.

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