Greta Garbo of the loo

Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom. Those rare few minutes are the only time I am EVER alone. Sarah sees or hears me locking the door and she stays away from the bathroom door. Doug usually knows to leave me alone, but every so often he likes to ask the locked door if I need help. Since the only way I would need help in a locked bathroom would be if I was unconscious on the floor and didn’t answer, he is never surprised when I growl my answer. Tommy and Noah still haven’t figured out to leave me alone when I lock the bathroom door.
Tommy: knock-knock-knock “Mom?”
Me: “Not right now. I’ll be out in a minute.”
Tommy: “I just want to know if I can blah-blah-blah?”
Me: “We’ll discuss it when I get out of the bathroom. Please leave me alone.”
Tommy: “But blah-blah-blah…”
Me: “Go away. Talk to your father.”
Every so often, that will bring on one of Doug’s “need help” requests that result in a verbal assault from me, but usually that gives me a two or three minutes of peace. Evan sees locked doors as a challenge.
Evan: doorknob jiggles “Door? Open?”
Me: “I’ll be out in a minute. Go find insert the name of whoever I know is nearby.”
Evan: “Open! Open!” kicks door several times and turns doorknob repeatedly
Amy: coming to Evan’s rescue “You want the door open?”
Me: “I’ll be out in a minute. Please go play with the blocks.”
Amy: peeking under door “Hi Mom! I see you. Whatcha doin?”
Me: “Please go play for a few minutes.”
Amy and Evan both have fingers under the door and are attempting to pull the door open.
Amy: “Want me to get Dad to help you?”

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