First commercial: Pause tv and run to the bathroom. Return from bathroom and fast forward the entire first block of commercials.

Second commercial: Attempt to forward and audibly groan when you realize that you are viewing live. Complain instead of paying attention.

Third commercial: Raise one eyebrow and allow your inner cyberchondriac to question if you have the illness that requires the medication being advertised. After all, several days ago you did mysteriously choke on a sip of tea and cough until your mascara looked like Alice Cooper’s. Oh wait, those side effects seem unpleasant and ‘may cause blindness’ is worse than the initial disease. Maybe that disease is just a pharmaceutical exaggeration. Drug ads on tv seem like they cause more problems than they solve.

Fourth commercial: What the what? People shop around for that? Don’t they just get the ones their Doctor prescribes for them? Is there some kind of bizarro fetish they are marketing here? These guys deserve the twisted trolls that are going to be calling them after this commercial.

Fifth commercial: Why am I watching live tv? Where’s the Roku remote?