Going to a PTSA event with mom

Denial: Ask if it is time to leave 283 times in the first fifteen minutes of the event. Every time an adult not related to you giggles, ask three more times.

Anger: Hide in the bathroom and FaceTime your sad circumstances to everyone who makes the mistake of accepting your call.

Bargaining: Ask to leave because you are starving, dehydrated and sleepy. Make Keane eyes at every person you see.

Depression: Flop down in a major pathway and do your best imitation of a rag doll. Whimper and moan.

Acceptance: Find chairs with wheels. Declare them the best chairs EVER.

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