He: “Why are you frowning?”
She: “I fell down the driveway and borked my knee.”
What she wanted him to say: Sorry about your knee.
What he said instead: “Do you want me to see if they can put better soles on your shoes?”
How she responded: “I’d like them dropped in an active volcano.”

– – – – – – – – – –

Mom: “Evan, what’s that in the sky?”
Evan: “Pluto? No, wait. It’s Venus.”
Mom: “That’s right!”
Sibling: “I’m from Venus.”
Evan: “No. You’re from Uranus.”