My dog is strange and unusual

My dog has a few behavioral quirks.

  • She collects kitchen utensils and silverware if they are drying on the counter or soaking in the sink.
  • She buries silverware in the couch cushions.
  • Knows what “sit” means, but only does it when she sees a reward In your hand.
  • Out of control happiness jumping and licking when someone walks in the house. Flops On the floor and goes to sleep when they start getting ready to leave.
  • The cats bring her their toys and she eats the furry mice and crinkle balls. She brings the cats her toys and they ignore them.
  • Likes to carry socks around in her magically stretchy cheeks. Her checks are like Stretch Armstrong, but her jaws lock down like a vise grip on the sock, cat toy or silverware you’re trying to remove from her mouth.
  • Needs gravy (bone broth) on her food or she has digestive issues. This makes no sense.
  • Will use only one path to get on our bed. If the path is blocked, then she won’t get on the bed.
  • If you stare in her eyes and speak sternly, she barks at you. A single bark.

Omg, my dog is a teenager.

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