Living in the shadow of the mountains, our seasons are a month of winter and a month of summer separated by several months of beautiful spring and fall. The transition to our brief spell of winter causes mornings of shivering and afternoons of sweating. I’m sorry. I mean glowing. Every morning this week, I’ve dressed […]
Me: “Did you lose your clothespin today?” Evan: “No. I knew where it was.”
“We’re here for a football game.” “I see popcorn! Can we get popcorn instead of football?” “The band is going to play music and then the football players will run on the field.” “Are the footballers still eating their popcorn?” “Why is that lady eating peanuts when there’s popcorn?” “The band is going to sit […]
The first clue was the smell. The second clue was the tiny footprints of dog poo leading to a seated child. Since the room was filled with small children from the neighborhood, I made a mass request. “Someone has dog poo on their shoes. Please take yucky shoes out front and hose them clean.” All […]
Mail, FedEx and UPS drivers understand small children excitedly competing to be the person who “gets” the mail or package. Whenever possible, they thoughtfully divide the delivery among the small outstretched hands. Today, the “UPS store,” as my children call it, brought two small packages. The driver handed one to each 5-year-old. Evan raced in […]
Two large German Shepherd dogs give lots of love, but they also leave a lot of mess. One of our dogs hides in the forest to make her mess. The other dog? She doesn’t care about privacy or the perfect spot. She goes anywhere. Since she, umm, walks it out, it is literally everywhere in […]
Dear Inventor of Glitter, I can think of nothing nice to say to you right now. Your product should be illegal to minors. There is no good way to clean your product and it stays around worse than meth residue. In fact, I am considering calling in a toxic waste clean-up specialist to remove the […]