tech wary

My husband calls himself a gadget junkie. He somehow manages to get new tech in our house on a regular basis. I greet most of it with a suspicious side eye. It isn’t because things that don’t matter to him, like the children’s Cartoon Network, get the budget axe while things you operate with a […]

late night conversations

“Are those tampons in his nose?” “That’s a real first aid thing.” “I know that. I packed them for ReadingNoah on one of our camping trips.” “Must not have been the desert camping trip. I’ve seen the pictures.” “No. That was the Packtowl nosebleeds trip.”

overthinking

She: “I’ve noticed other parents trying to avoid candy. I will go to Party City and see if anything is appropriate for a large variety of ages, but I think that some of the children expect candy. Candy canes are seasonal, but most children don’t like candy that tastes like toothpaste. I wonder if peanut […]

He vs She – books

He: “What do you think of the book I gave you to read?” She: “I’m enjoying it except for the distractingly misogynist attitudes of the author.” Wrong answer – He: “What misogyny?” Right answer – He: “I’m glad you like it.”

nerd life

She: “They updated the software on censored! They added censored and censored!” He: “Let me see. Oooooh, sweet.” She: “I want to take a picture of this screen.” He: “No pictures. Violates the NDA.” She: “Don’t they want people talking about the improvements?” He: “Not with other people.” She: “Don’t they want social media noise?” […]

We speak “married”

She: “We should go to that place near the lamp store where you didn’t buy shades.” He: “The Professor from War Games moved to that spot. The place you’re thinking of is by the yoga bakery that you like.” She: “Oh, good. I’m ready to leave now.” He: “Lemme get my pocket stuff.”

no submarines

“It’s Memorial Day! Let’s watch a movie about submarines.” “How about something we both like? Let’s watch spaceships instead. They’re outer space submarines.”

grounded affection

Monday – He: “Do you realize that you look terrified every time I lean in to kiss you lately?” She: “That’s because I’m bracing myself to be electrocuted.” Tuesday – He: leans in for a kiss She: reaches out, puts her hand on his cheek and smiles He: “My wife, the grounding strip.” Best kiss […]