Category: kid quotes

Noah says:

“Mom, I think I’m going into puberty, cause I’m always hungry. Puberty means you have a growth spurt.”

she’s not bashful

Amy and Evan hopped in Noah’s bath last night for some splash time. For the first time, Amy noticed the small birthmark on Evan’s bottom. Amy: “Eww, Evan has a giant freckle on his booty.” Mom:”No, that’s just a little birthmark. It’ll probably fade away.” Amy stood and positioned her rear in Noah’s face. Noah […]

conversation snippets

Saturday morning Amy: “I want the aquarium for my turtle to be right beside my bed and my turtle’s gonna be named Tuck and he’s gonna eat lettuce.” Saturday afternoon Mom: “Let’s never get a pet monkey.” Dad: “The only thing I want less than a turtle is a monkey.”

send tylenol

There’s a naked 4-year-old writhing in a chair at our kitchen table while screaming “I HATE homework!”

Noah says

“This is my best day EVER.” After I allowed him to put ice on his sleeping older brother and sister and after they threw ice back at him. It was even after Sarah reacted in a way that would have frightened Linda Blair. I guess my children need trays of ice for Christmas.

the downside of older siblings

I told Amy it was time to do her homework and began searching for the “chunky” pencil that I had stashed away for this occasion. “Homework?!? Why do I always have to do homework? Homework is sooo boring!” After much drama that included holding her head in her hands, moaning and flailing arms (hers, not […]

stupid, stupid, stupid

I tried a cheaper hair color and it turned out quite Elvira-ish. Mom: “Sarah, do you think my hair turned out too dark?” Sarah: “Umm, I don’t know what to say.” Point taken. I called the hair hotline and was advised to use cheap shampoo for a week to see if it gets lighter before […]

are you kidding?

I know I’m old and stupid, but there’s NO WAY I’m going to sign a blank piece of paper Sarah. You may as well learn to fake my signature. “But I’m gonna write the note on the way to school tomorrow.”