everybody likes the UPS truck

Mail, FedEx and UPS drivers understand small children excitedly competing to be the person who “gets” the mail or package. Whenever possible, they thoughtfully divide the delivery among the small outstretched hands. Today, the “UPS store,” as my children call it, brought two small packages. The driver handed one to each 5-year-old. Evan raced in […]

boy v. girl

“Mooooom!” Amy’s voice is extremely animated and expressive. She has a very specific tone if the problem is her little brother. When I heard her call me in that special way of hers, I expected to see her brother sitting on her, trying to steal a toy or doing any of the many, many things […]

it’s raining . . . something

Two large German Shepherd dogs give lots of love, but they also leave a lot of mess. One of our dogs hides in the forest to make her mess. The other dog? She doesn’t care about privacy or the perfect spot. She goes anywhere. Since she, umm, walks it out, it is literally everywhere in […]

humidity chronicles – part two

When Amy is sick, she is pitifully sad. Her eyes get round like a Keane painting and they are filled with a sea of tears that quietly roll down her pale, white cheeks. Except for the occasional whimper, she is silent. Amy was in sick mode the entire ride home from Natchez Trace. On the […]

Star Wars logic

Doug: “She looks EXACTLY like her Mommy.” Me: “Maybe she’s really a clone.” Evan: “No! Clones are bad and she is NOT bad!”

Ready for clown school

“Evan, I need you to pay attention and answer the teachers’ questions today.” “Okay. I’ll tell them a good joke.” “Umm, why don’t you tell me the joke first.” “Knock-knock.” “Who’s there?” “Apple.” “Apple who?” “Apple head! Bwa-ha-ha! Isn’t that funny?” On the class assignment flowchart, “apple head” is guaranteed to bypass all the academic […]

dramatic pauses included

The 4-y-o dressed himself in his favorite jeans and his favorite shirt. He went through a series of odd poses as he studied the clothing on his tiny frame. “Mom?” “What?” “I . . . look . . . awesome.” “Yes, you do.” “I . . . am a cool dude.” We have entered the […]

Evan’s morning

At the first sound of anyone in the house sitting up in bed or stretching their toes, bounce out of bed and make a beeline for Lego Star Wars. Blearily stare at the screen and click buttons until you smell an open box of cereal. Race to the kitchen and demand a specific bowl, spoon […]

Evan the magnificent

“Close your eyes and don’t peek.” “Okay.” As my eyelids connected I heard the slapping sound of bare feet on a wood floor as Evan raced out of the room. Before the sound disappeared, it began to get louder and quickly returned to where I was sitting with my eyelids scrunched shut. “Open your eyes. […]