There has been some unauthorized growing by the children. Not one of them filled out the proper paperwork declaring their intent to have growth spurts. They completely disregarded the two weeks notice rule. Since the penalties for unauthorized growth are getting to wear shorts in the winter, the children don’t really take seriously my need […]
I realize that when I write about something as controversial as laundry I risk comments from the comprehension impaired, but I’m all about edgy topics like household chores. Aaaanyway, as I’ve said before, we have color-coded baskets for dirty laundry. The white basket is for whites. The bright green basket is for brights. The navy […]
I am writing this from ten years in the past, when Evan was only four. If future me is having a chat about Evan with his therapist or arresting officer, this date might be important. This is the date when I, err you, found all of Evan’s sisters’ underwear stashed on Evan’s little, crib-sized bed. […]
I love caller ID. Without even picking up the phone, I see one of the children’s schools on the ID and I know something is wrong. Is it the middle school? Noah must be having a nosebleed. Is it the high school? Sarah must have lost her cell phone. Is it the elementary school? Maybe […]
Remember several years ago when Tommy did this to his forehead? This past weekend, Noah went camping with the Boy Scouts. He came home looking like this: He also had a circular hickey on his arm and his abdomen. I stopped looking for the odd marks after that. I don’t want to know if there […]
Sarah has sleepover guests on a regular basis. Once, she had 16 guests. It was exhausting, but easy. I understand girls. Now that she and her friends are teenagers, I know exactly what they are thinking and plotting. Going head to head with her is frustrating, but I know that it’s a dance we must […]