Actual phone conversation: Her: “I seriously need to finish the crafting and shopping today.” Him: “Why? Christmas isn’t until Wednesday.” Her: Her: “Christmas is Tuesday.” Him: “No, it’s not. Stop messing with me…” Him: Him: I seriously need to start my shopping today.”
Doug – “I need camping shirts, camping socks, *camping this and camping that, no, I won’t need any of my printed t-shirts. I will need a new camera, a new hat, trekking poles, stuff sacks and a portable sink.” Noah – “These Dockers are too small, so I’m packing them for my one pair of […]
* ring-ring ** “Yes?” *** “I’m on the driveway. Get out here. Hurry.” **** “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” “Can’t you hear it?” “Hear what? Is it the raccoons?” “Shhh. Listen. The frogs have returned.” *My phone doesn’t ring, but for a little while at least, it’s a universally understood code for a phone that […]
I like holidays. They are picnics on the journey of life. Some picnics are full of fun. Other picnics are reflective. Every so often, a bear steals your basket of food and the picnic is just something you’re happy to survive. Valentine’s Day is a quick snack and toss the frisbee picnic. I walked in […]
The weekend before Christmas, I asked everyone to help me scrub a layer of dust and dog hair off of everything in the house. Let me be more specific. My exact words were, “I need everyone to help clean the house this weekend. We have company coming over and there is dog hair and dust […]
Once upon a time, Doug declared that he could build Amy a playhouse in a single weekend. Since Doug is a perfectionist/artisan, that project continues more than a year later. Sunday afternoon, while Doug fretted over making the perfect cuts in a tiny scrap of red cedar, I said “be careful” and wandered off to […]
How Doug shops for anything at the hardware-ish store: 1. Visually survey all possible options. 2. Pick up and touch each option. 3. Use app to read reviews of each option. 4. Interview two store employees about each option. 5. Use another app to price check each option. 6. Think of an alternative technique involving […]
via sms: “I can’t talk right now. I’m working on three stars.”
Doug: “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” Me: “A new splash screen.” Doug: “What do you want me to BUY you for Mother’s Day?” Me: “You can give me a new splash screen for my birthday.”
The hat looks best on this guy.