The TMI post where I apologize

The older I get, the more my body looks like it would benefit from Willy Wonka’s taffy puller. Putting it less vaguely, I’m getting shorter and fatter. I’m down to eating one meal a day and I still look like a weeble. I even spent several months attempting supplements and exercises, but do you know […]


Starving Artist graduates college in less than three weeks. Graduation is at the Lincoln Center. My entire summer wardrobe is jeans, loose shirts and flip flops. After an hour and a half in the consignment store, I’ve decided I’m too fat and old to go to NYC or to be seen in public anywhere.

Blogger Bigboote

When I was young, I had a huge callous at the top of my middle finger from writing so much. I am not exaggerating. It was so enormous that people constantly commented on it. “Wow! You must write a LOT.” I may have been self conscious about every other part of my appearance, but that […]

I am not the Energizer bunny

Dear Evan, I know you are excited about Easter, but Mommy is much too out of shape to hop around the house like a bunny several times every day. You have four older siblings who can play “bunny” without becoming instantly breathless. I do not want to explain to paramedics that I broke myself tripping […]