just being contrary
Dad: “Quesadillas are ready!” Me: “Who wants a cheese triangle?” Evan: “I want a cheese RECTANGLE.” Me: “No rectangles today.” Evan: “I guess I’ll take a cheese circle.”
Tag: kid quotes
this wasn’t in the manual
“Look, Mom! I found two balls in here.” “Why don’t you build something with your Legos?” “I want to get these out.” “Those don’t come out. Now stop doing that before you break something.” “I’m gonna pee them out.” “I really wish you wouldn’t.”
boy quotes
Tommy: “Some girl on campus walked up to me and said I look like a gamer.” Me: “What did you say to her?” Tommy: “I thanked her.” Noah: “Do speedometers have negative numbers when cars are driving in reverse?” Me: “You are either moving or you are still. Speed is not directional.” Noah: “I just […]
Amy says:
Me: “Goodnight monkey.” Amy: “Evan is the monkey. From now on, you can call me Coraline, ’cause that’s a better name than Amy. You can also call me Small Fry ’cause Sarah gave me that nickname. Me: “Goodnight Coraline.” Amy/Coraline: “Goodnight Mommy and other Mother.” giggle
rhetorical questions – back to school
“Do you really think you are going to wear that?” “Was I supposed to bring that home?” “You weren’t going to eat that, were you?” “Are you sure you need this today?” “You washed my ___ last night, didn’t you?” “Can you write another check?”
Evan the Menace
“Evan, I am walking downstairs to put clothes in the dryer. Please behave.” “No. I gotta be BAD today.” I really wish his preschool had an opening in the three half days a week program. Two half days doesn’t seem like enough time to get the bad out of his system interact with peers.
cranking the naughty up to eleven
“Moooom! Evan is running around the house covered with soap.” “How did he get soap all over himself when the bathtub is dry?” “Weeeell, he took off his clothes and climbed in the sink and he squirted soap on his back and then he smeared it everywhere.” “He put soap on his own back?” “Yes.” […]
mastering sibling rivalry
Amy: “Evan, you stay out of my room or I will call the police and they’ll put you in jail.” Evan: “Mommmmy!” – – – – – – – – – – – – – Amy: “Where’s my penguin that was in the living room?’ Evan: “I called police and they put it in jail.” […]
Amy says / Evan says
Evan: “What’s text?” Amy: “That’s when you use your thumbs to write words on the phone.” Evan: “I get to press buttons?” Amy: “Yes.” Evan: “Can I do that now?” Amy: “If you got one.” Evan: racing out of the room “I gotta go find a phone.”
bad day for the 70’s
Sarah is in Michigan this week and getting ready for a day at Cedar Point. This is the first time she has phoned me since she left. Sarah: “Guess what Mom?” Me: “What Sarah?” Sarah: “Michael Jackson just died.” Me: “Yes he did. Farrah Fawcett died this morning.” Sarah: “Who?”