“I’m out of books to read. Is this series too young?” “I don’t think so. How have you not read that already?” “When those books came out, I wasn’t reading, watching or going to see anything. I was just a mom.” Please forgive the annoyance of me blathering endlessly about the books I read, the […]
I make stickers of cartoon panels and stick them in my planner. When I had an office, comic strips covered the bulletin board. In college, I glued comic strips into my textbooks. In high school, I thumbtacked cartoons to my walls. In middle school, I kept a favorite strip in my pocket. In elementary school, […]
Me: “I’m going out to run errands. Need anything?” Family: “Nope.” I text home two hours later. “Heading home unless anyone needs something.” Text from child: “Nobody needs anything.” I come home, unload groceries and sit down to remove my shoes and read email. An hour later, I remove my bra and spend half an […]
Let’s say you’re at one of Knox County’s many public *schools, the big red bullseye store, a grocery store or a coffee shop and you think you see that person who is everywhere on the Internet, but aren’t sure since she’s too old to use her face as her avatar. Here are clues to look […]
Me: “We will leave as soon as I go potty.” Evan: “Okay, but only go pee. Poop takes too long.”
* ring-ring ** “Yes?” *** “I’m on the driveway. Get out here. Hurry.” **** “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” “Can’t you hear it?” “Hear what? Is it the raccoons?” “Shhh. Listen. The frogs have returned.” *My phone doesn’t ring, but for a little while at least, it’s a universally understood code for a phone that […]
I have a trick knee. Sometimes, without warning, it just stops doing what I want it to do, as though a loose wire inside has disconnected the power. As quickly as it stops working, it starts back up again. Most of the time, the power returns in time to correct and instead of a fall, […]
I sat on a bench in the park. The cool breeze gently fanned the sweet smell of peanuts roasting nearby. To my right, a woman who looked too frail to stand tenderly stroked peaceful chords from a large, gold harp. My left side was being serenaded by A Capella street performers whose deep voices were […]
No cape, but my super powers include: Camouflage Spectrum vision Identifying post-CABG patients Choosing the shopping cart that should be retired Obscure song lyric memory Embarrassing my teenagers Breaking my toes on anything and everything It’s a short list. Very short.
“Dad, I really can’t chat about bathtub drains right now.” “What’s so important that you won’t stop and talk to me?” “I’m on someone else’s clock. Can we do this later?” “Whose clock? What are you doing?” “I’m just cleaning up some messy code.” “I thought you just posted in chat rooms all day. When […]