How to identify me

Let’s say you’re at one of Knox County’s many public *schools, the big red bullseye store, a grocery store or a coffee shop and you think you see that person who is everywhere on the Internet, but aren’t sure since she’s too old to use her face as her avatar. Here are clues to look for:

Is she holding a coffee cup or sweet tea? If no, then that’s probably not me.

Does she have a cell phone gripped in her claw or sticking awkwardly out of her pocket? Is a cell phone sitting on the table in front of her? If no cell phone, then that’s probably not me.

Does she have bags under her eyes that could double as coin purses? If not, then that’s definitely not me.

Does she have dog and/or cat hair visible on her clothing? Seriously, if there’s not animal hair and/or snake skin flakes on the clothing, that isn’t me.

Does her laptop have stickers that reveal she watches too much television? Is there a white tulip on her tech? Ask her if she likes red licorice.

Is she driving a silver car that requires an extension cord to function? Don’t even try getting her attention. The stereo is much too loud.

Still not sure if that is me? Yell, “Mom” to see if I look at you with a ‘WHAT’ face. Then, you know it is me.

*That’s pretty much the only places you will find me.

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