Yesterday, Amy and Evan disappeared in the creek that borders our yard. Molly’s barking alerted me that something was wrong and adrenaline fueled Doug found them before anything bad could happen. The children got a lecture that started at the creek, continued to the back porch where their muddy exteriors were shed and lasted through […]
Me: “Please do NOT play in the water hose. You are coming back inside in fifteen minutes and I don’t want to give you a bath right now. Don’t get wet.” Amy: “Okay.” Me: “I need you to repeat what I just said so I know that you understand.” Amy: “We can’t play in the […]
10 INPUT “Mom, do you want to see my *poison ivy rash oozing?” 20 OUTPUT “Sound of Mother gagging.” 30 GOTO 10 *I have also been asked: “tooth hanging by a thread?” “bug collection?” “present from the cat that the dog is eating?” “footprints from the dog poo I squished with my shoe?” “bed where […]
I’m blogging about my bad parenting over at Scholastic Parents.
Me: “Tommy, do you want to spend the rest of your life just playing WoW in our basement?” Tommy: “I don’t think you want to know my answer.” Sarah: “I have NOTHING to wear. I HAVE to have new clothes.” Noah: “Umm, yeah, I didn’t tell you, but, I, umm, lost a part of my […]
Dear Katie, You have given your children love and support since before they were born. You have done NOTHING to warrant any kind of guilt inflicted upon yourself. Stomp that feeling into the dirt and keep doing what you were already doing. Love, Cathy When we first become parents, we have prepared by reading 5 […]
5/11 3:00 p.m. – Amy brings home a pile of disks filled with pictures that I agreed to compile into a montage for the First Graders’ end of the year celebration. Two of the teachers sent over 500 pictures each while one only sent about two dozen blurry pictures. My goal was a 10-15 minute […]
Friday night, Evan snuck a paperback book into the bathtub. The result was the reverse of a paper mache experiment. Saturday morning I cleaned out the mountain of paper scraps so that Sarah could take a 2-hour bath to get ready for prom. I had time for a 10 minute bath before taking Sarah on […]
Me: “Tell me about your day.” Noah: “Well, it was a pretty regular day.” Me: “Tell me one thing that you did.” Noah: “I went to chess club.” Me: “Tell me one thing about your day that was DIFFERENT.” Noah: “A mean kid mooned me in the hallway.” Amy: “What’s mooned?” *Me: “Ask your father.” […]
Several times a year and in multiple environments, I have to pull out the tired, old dinosaur statistic that murder rates go up when ice cream sales go up. Eventually, everyone will recognize that statistics are not enough. The “most single parents live in poverty” statistic ignores the fact that people with severe mental or […]