“He’s happier than a snake after a shed.”
“She’s poocrastinating until the rain stops.”
“We have yellow jackets. Find the corpse.”
It is extremely common for the pet store to be sold out of the frozen rodents that make our snake happy. Since most people haven’t discovered how pleasant and easy snakes are as pets, it doesn’t seem like frozen mice would EVER be difficult to find. Our mice come from a local breeder, so the problem is not related to any *food recalls. This week, I finally learned that one man in Knoxville causes the mice shortage. Apparently, he buys dozens of frozen mice every week to feed his CATS. We have a feral cat. It likes to kill things. The cat leaves them where we are certain to step on them. It never, ever eats them. Disembowels them? Yes. Eat them? No. If we handed the cat something that is already dead, it would give us a ‘what is wrong with you people’ look before it violently slashed at our arms. What kind of cats eat frozen mice? Is the owner really serious about his raw food diet and want his pets to also avoid manufactured food? Does the owner just need a good cat food coupon? Maybe the owner needs to skip the pet store middle man and go directly to the mice breeder. Perhaps he just needs to move to a farm and let his cats feed on the barn mice. I guess we could try teaching the snake to eat cat food.
*I giggled when I typed that mice are food. I’m easily amused.
Amy: “I got to go INSIDE the turtle habitat today!”
Evan: “Well, I got to go in a lion cage.”
Amy: “Nuh-uh. Nobody goes in the lion cage.”
Evan: “Did too.”
Amy: “If you went in the lion cage, you’d get eaten.”
Evan: “I went in the NICE lion’s cage.”