imaginary comic strip

Since I didn’t take a college level class on how to draw Grumpy Cat, a textual comic strip of a daily scenario in this house.

The first frame is a drawing that represents a cat, sitting on a closed toilet seat, staring at the person sitting in the bathtub. The cat is unreadable, like the world’s best poker player. He is a mix of saucer eyed Keane drawing and Scooby Doo haunted house painting with moving eyes. The cat is creepy. The person in the bath is awkward and cartoonish with random globs of soap bubbles that they failed to rinse. The bather has all the grace and beauty of Laurel AND Hardy. The first drawing in this comic strip is more Edward Gorey than Norman Rockwell.

The cat in the middle frame has transformed from stalker to sleeper. The cat is curled up and softly snoring atop the bather’s clean, folded towel. The shivering bather, squinting as wet hair drips mercilessly into soap stung eyes, makes futile attempts to coax the sleeping cat to move. The cat has the density of concrete, but clings to the towel like velcro.

In the final frame, the cat glowers on the bathroom floor. The cat is uncertain how he ended up on the floor, but he knows it wasn’t by choice. The bather has rubbed the towel on their wet skin to replace droplets of bathwater with cat hair. Holding a towel with one hand while attempting to pick cat hair off with the other hand, the bather mumbles unseemly comments about cats, but the cartoonist avoids the cliche of symbols in favor of the nondescript squiggle.

I never said it was a funny comic strip.

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