Dear Evan,

From 11 p.m. until 1 a.m. is MY time. Except for weekend mornings when Daddy takes you upstairs so that I can have one hour without someone touching me, 11-1 is my only time in the day that I can relax, craft, re-start the dryer twice and share time with Daddy. 11-1 is NOT play, giggle and get wild time for children. Children sleep from 11-1. Most children sleep more, but YOU sleep 11-1 and then attach yourself to me in a parasitic manner for the remainder of the night. I NEED my 11-1 time. Puh-leeze let me have my 11-1 time back. I tried telling you that Santa likes children to sleep at night, but you just laughed at me. That’s the only ammunition I have this time of year. Do you want a car? A horse? A cell phone of your own? Anything. Just let me have 11-1! My sanity depends on it. Positive reinforcement not your thing? How about I threaten to sleep in the car one night and let Daddy entertain you all night? Those round bumps on his chest don’t actually do anything and I don’t think you’ll like that. So, give me 11-1 dude! I mean it mister.

Annoyed but still loving you,

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