After many, many discussions and a few phone calls to Ye Olde Tattoos & Body Piercings, we ended up where Sarah wanted to be, the mall. She and her friend got multiple holes punched in their ear cartilage and the parents made jokes. The Moms discussed getting their nipples done and attaching a strap around our necks to lift our boobs. I decided breastfeeding five children has made my nipples so elastic that a strap would only pull my nipples over my shoulders while my breasts remained hovered near my waistband. The girls sang a variation on “Do Your Ears Hang Low” and we pretty much frightened all the other shoppers away from our little party. Isn’t that how everybody spends their Saturday?