swimsuits are for stick women

For the first time since 2001, we are actually preparing for a family vacation. I can’t let myself get excited in case I end up staying home with the critters, but I won’t deny that I’m really hopeful. As part of my acceptance, I bought a swimsuit. Yes, I know that most women buy a swimsuit every spring. I haven’t bought a swimsuit in six years. That is two children ago. I would hate to make the 9 hour drive to the beach and sit there in my jeans and t-shirt. I spent two days searching for a swimsuit. I read that there is a store in Knoxville which gives shoppers champagne to drink while they try on $200 jeans. Women should be served alcohol when they brave the dressing room with swimsuits in their hands. I know I’m not alone, because I could hear the other women in the dressing rooms complaining and groaning. Swimsuits don’t cover thighs. Finding a suit that doesn’t require a Brazilian is not a topic I will even attempt to discuss. I don’t understand why swimsuits are made for women with B size busts. I had a C cup when I was 13. They may be lower now, but they are certainly not smaller. Uniboobs are not attractive on anyone. I complained about one suit giving me a “back butt” and Doug acted like I made that phrase up out of thin air. In fact, Doug and I had a few go rounds over the entire swimsuit issue this weekend. Apparently, my belief that 14-year-olds shouldn’t wear the same style suit as 18-year-olds and my displeasure with wearing a swimsuit are based on my low self-esteem. I happen to think that recognizing that you have reached a point in your life when you look better with clothes than without clothes is quite normal. I am content with the size I wear. It isn’t a double digit yet, even if my pants do have to be a short people size. Swimsuits are just not flattering on most adult women. Lucky for everyone, I have no camera to prove to you that I am right. I am. Because . . . the woman is always right. She just doesn’t look right in a swimsuit.

6 thoughts on “swimsuits are for stick women

  1. I’ll give you the same two words I gave KAG – Carol Wior. A miracle in lycra. And they sell them on Ebay for much less than they do in the store. Buy it and know that it will last you forever, and make you look good. The Bob gives them two thumbs up!

  2. Thinking a 14-yr-old shouldn’t be wearing the same style swimsuit as an 18-yr-old isn’t a product of your low self-esteem – it’s common sense.

  3. I just want a swimsuit I don’t have to take out a stinking mortgage for anymore. (Well, that and the ability to properly wear an 18 year old suit. It’ll never happen on either field though.)

    Of course if I got into the pool, they’d likely call Sea World for the lost Beluga. (I’m even that pasty. It’s sad.)

  4. I needed swim suits for water physical therapy several years ago. I still have both suits from Land’s End, and my favorite one with the skirt, is just now starting to show signs of wear:( Both were excellent suits, that may have cost more, but looked good on me (I’m seriously plump) and lasted a long time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.