When normal people travel, they leave detailed directions for the house sitter. They write things like: “Keep the thermostat at 72. There is a lasagna in the fridge that needs to be eaten. Extra towels are in the hall closet.” We don’t leave behind directions like that. Ours say things like: “The faucets in the bathtub are backwards. It is NOT righty-tighty. It is lefty-tighty. Do not use the shower. It leaks behind the wall.” I think my favorite part of the directions are: “You will have to hand wash your dishes or leave them in the sink and I will take care of them. The dishwasher doesn’t wash dishes but it does fill with gray water daily. Please toss in a dishwashing tablet and run the dishwasher every other day to empty the water. Use cold water cycle only or the machine will never stop running.” Aren’t you glad we didn’t ask you to be our house sitter?