One of Doug and I’s favorite parts of going to see a movie in the theater is watching the previews together. After each preview, we declare the movie a must see, a wait for the dvd or a no way, no how. We generally agree on the nostalgia and comedies, but on everything else, well, not so much. Doug gets excited about any movie with a helicopter or a submarine. B-movies are like magnets. I am repelled by the movie and Doug is attracted to the movie. At home, Doug watches his movies in one room and I usually busy myself in another room. The time when we watch movies together is late at night after everyone else is asleep. When it’s Doug’s night to choose the entertainment, the results vary greatly. Sometimes he’ll pick something he knows I’ll like. Other times, he’ll try to convert me to one of his movies. The exact same thing happens every single night. Fifteen minutes into the movie, Doug falls asleep and I am unable to change the channel because I have some kind of sickness that forces me to always see a movie through to the end. It doesn’t matter if it’s something scary or something silly, I feel compelled to watch the entire torturous thing.

A few nights ago, Doug turned to “Bruce Campbell vs Army of Darkness.” Shortly after the chainsaw replaced Bruce’s hand, Doug was snoring. There are no words for the level of horrible that is this movie. Yet, I watched the entire pointless thing. It wasn’t as horrible as being forced to watch Rambo part 72, but still, it was bad. I hope they made it that terrible on purpose. What I would really like to know is if I am the last person to realize that Colbert is deliberately channeling Bruce Campbell when he does Tek Jansen. If Bruce isn’t a guest on Colbert as part of his upcoming tour, I will be very disappointed in both of them. I want to see Bruce ask Stephen to give him some sugar. Colbert and Campbell are now intertwined in my brain. You know, like a really bad movie starring, well, you know who.