Did you know that if you trip and splat on the sidewalk while carrying a 4-y-o and an over-filled purse, you will feel shock and shame, while the aforementioned child will roll like Sonic and land on his feet going a full-speed run? Did you also know that nobody will ask the middle aged woman crawling on the sidewalk if she is okay or offer to catch the very naughty child who is now far, far out of reach? Finally, did you know that the pain from said fall will set in slowly and unexpectedly, like after you have been sitting at your computer and you try to stand up only to have your knees refuse to cooperate?

I do these things so you don’t have to do them.