need more Calgon

We have a pile of old, rusty paint cans that have too much leftover paint to waste. After seeing it day after day for several years, I decided to find a purpose for the paint. This week, the leftover paint from 2002’s staircase railing project became the new color of some kitchen shelves that have stored my food since before Tommy was born. That’s a long way of saying that I painted some shelves.

Covered in splatters of paint and with hands aching from gripping a paint roller for hours, I indulged in a hot bath. I leaned back to relax in the steamy water as the dogs curled up against each other for a nap on the cool bathroom floor. The heartsick teen walked in and sat down between the dogs. Then, the middle child and the two littles squeezed into the crowded room.

“<- sob -> Well, I don’t have anything to lose, so I’m just going to do what I want. I’m not a child any more. I’m seventeen! <- sniffle, sob ->
“You just got yourself grounded. Noah! Please come get this spider.”
“What? What spider?”
“There’s a spider above the bathtub. Please get it before it falls in the water.”
“<- sniffle -> I’ll never give up. You can’t hold me back any more.”
“I hold you back? You hold yourself back by eliminating every single college in the state of Tennessee. Noah, please don’t just grab it. You know it will jump and fall and then there will be spider legs floating in my bath, so put your other hand under the spider.”
“You want me stuck in Tennessee forever!”
<- badeep, badoop ... badeep, badoop ->
“No. You can leave the state once you are 18. It’s in the water! Get it out! Get it out!”
<- badeep, badoop ... badeep, badoop ->
“I hear a phone ringing! Can I answer it?”
“Get what out? What’s in the water?”
<- badeep, badoop ... badeep, badoop ->
“I dropped a spider in the bathtub.”
“A spider? I wanna hold it!”
“Eeeeeverybody thinks you are being completely irrational. <-sob ->”
<- badeep, badoop ... badeep, badoop ->
“The spider is dead. You can’t hold it.”
“Everybody is not your parent. I am. Ew, yuck! There’s a spider leg in here! Everybody needs to clear out of this room so I can get dressed.”

<- badeep, badoop ... badeep, badoop ->
“Hello.”
“D and W have been trying to call you. Why didn’t you answer the phone?”

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