Me: “We are here to buy your friend a birthday gift. We are not shopping for Evan today.”
Evan: “Okay.”
Me: “How about this? Would your friend like this?”
Evan: “That one is better.”
Me: “Then we will get it for your friend.”
Evan: “Nooooo. That’s for me.”
Me: “What are we going to get for your friend?”
Evan: “I guess we can get this one.”
Me: “Is this for you or your friend?”
Evan: “Me.”
Me: “The next thing you pick up is going to be for your friend and not for you.”
Evan: “Give him that.”
Me: “That’s a wonderful gift for your friend. Mommy needs to get some dish soap and then we will go to the cashiers.”
Evan: “No. You can’t buy stuff for you. We are only here for my friend’s gift.”
Starting in Kindergarten, we set my daughter up with an allowance. Out of that, 1/3 of it went into a separate piggy bank that could be used for “anything she wants.”
In situations like this, when she wanted to buy something for herself when it was supposed to be shopping for a friend, we would offer to pick it up but that she would have to pay for it out of her piggy bank.
Sometimes, if she didn’t have enough we would tell her she has to save for it (if there was not enough in the piggy bank). Sometimes, she would reconsider it when it was “her money” and decide against the purchase. And every once in a while, she would agree to pay for it. (but since she actually thought about it before making that decision, there were far less “impulse” purchases, and she asked far less often once she understood that unplanned purchases were her responsibility to pay for.
so when exactly do they grow out of that? because this conversation is really similar to one I have frequently with my 10 year old son
Ummm… with boys… they NEVER grow out of it. The price of our toys just get more expensive.