In the past two days, I stripped all the beds and laundered *everything. When I went to re-make all the beds, I had one extra twin mattress pad and a missing full size mattress pad. Did I have a twin mattress pad on a full mattress? It doesn’t fit now, so how could it have fit before laundering? I remember buying a full size mattress pad. Are mattress pads to trolls what single socks are to elves?

In a household where apple cores accidentally fall behind beds and get forgotten until they stink, used dental floss is strewn on the ground all around the OUTSIDE of the bathroom trash can and I frequently find garbage piled on the closed lid of an empty trash can, WHY do the wrappers and sticker backing from bandages get neatly put back inside the bandage box so that you don’t realize the weighted box contains no unused bandages until your finger is dripping blood?

Why does anything with a drawstring emerge from tumbling in the washer AND dryer, completely untangled from clothing without a single knot while earbuds neatly folded and untouched in a drawstring pouch emerge in actual knots?

*Six mattress pads, six fitted sheets, six top sheets, nine blankets, nine pillowcases and two comforters that didn’t require a trip to the laundromat to use the over-sized machines. Yay!