parade-isms

The husband and children are going to be in a parade this weekend. They’ve been in local parades and parades in much bigger cities. They’ve been in so many parades that they are parade professionals. They know the hurry up and wait rhythm and they know the funny wrist wave. I have been in exactly […]

musical torture

Due to the unexpected absence of fender benders and traffic jams between home and the private school on the west edge of town, we arrived to basketball practice half an hour early. The school gym is extremely popular and arriving early means standing in the hallway waiting while boys endlessly try to jump high enough […]

It’s always something

Before the nice woman with a bottomless home repair budget bought the house next door, it was rental income for a harmless curmudgeon. One of the many, many renters over the years broke her lease because the house was haunted. New owner’s smudging seems to have relocated the ghost(s) to our house. This morning, our […]

Not a puppy

Guard Teen planned to spend the Thanksgiving holidays complaining to her older sister about not bringing a rescue puppy home from her Texas flood cleanup. Instead of a puppy, Unemployed Artist brought home a boyfriend. He was so charming and good natured that Guard Teen forgot to torture her sibling. I didn’t remind her either.

Thanksgiving movie night

After we stuff our faces with Thanksgiving linner or whatever it is that you call the meal you eat at 2 in the afternoon, we go to the movies. Last year, we watched Fantastic Beasts. This year, we nattered about DC vs Marvel before choosing to go see Ragnarok. I knew to expect silliness. I’ve […]

Ed tech

At some point, we need to accept that tech companies and Internet providers marketed technology to schools like television show drug dealers. Schools were gifted one year of devices that become obsolete in four years and/or two years of Internet access. Using online textbooks and resources, multimedia assignments, online testing and online grading weren’t just […]

Thanksgiving 2017

The basement flooded when the washing machine went wonky. The crockpot died. The two children with a mystery virus are now walking nosebleeds. I think the youngest child has ringworm. Today was still the best day ever.

Thanksgiving “prep”

I’m going to get up in the morning at a time when nocturnal people should be in bed. I’m going to get food started and go back to bed. Nobody, especially the husband, had better wake me with the sound of rip saws, power screwdrivers, wires being snaked in drywall, fuse boxes slamming or screams […]

cleaning /= construction

Somewhere in my husband’s brain, the code for cleaning has been overwritten by the code for home repair and renovation projects can be fixed only by HopkinsandPorter.com. Can someone please patch it with a holiday loophole to correct this program on major holidays?

thank you, villagers

I joke about my disinterest in sports, but I really do feel bad that neither the husband nor I can help the youngest child with his basketball skills. Today, not one, but two different adults in two different locations witnessed his basketball play and stepped up to gently teach him. You both made my mascara […]