Young couples wear matching t-shirts. From there, they move to matching sweaters. Before long, it’s matching sweatsuits and sneakers. Doug and I are strange. We wear matching undies. Which is all fine and good because it amuses us without bothering anyone else. Usually. At an event with a group consisting mainly of women my age […]
The husband and children are going to be in a parade this weekend. They’ve been in local parades and parades in much bigger cities. They’ve been in so many parades that they are parade professionals. They know the hurry up and wait rhythm and they know the funny wrist wave. I have been in exactly […]
Due to the unexpected absence of fender benders and traffic jams between home and the private school on the west edge of town, we arrived to basketball practice half an hour early. The school gym is extremely popular and arriving early means standing in the hallway waiting while boys endlessly try to jump high enough […]
Before the nice woman with a bottomless home repair budget bought the house next door, it was rental income for a harmless curmudgeon. One of the many, many renters over the years broke her lease because the house was haunted. New owner’s smudging seems to have relocated the ghost(s) to our house. This morning, our […]
Guard Teen planned to spend the Thanksgiving holidays complaining to her older sister about not bringing a rescue puppy home from her Texas flood cleanup. Instead of a puppy, Unemployed Artist brought home a boyfriend. He was so charming and good natured that Guard Teen forgot to torture her sibling. I didn’t remind her either.
After we stuff our faces with Thanksgiving linner or whatever it is that you call the meal you eat at 2 in the afternoon, we go to the movies. Last year, we watched Fantastic Beasts. This year, we nattered about DC vs Marvel before choosing to go see Ragnarok. I knew to expect silliness. I’ve […]
At some point, we need to accept that tech companies and Internet providers marketed technology to schools like television show drug dealers. Schools were gifted one year of devices that become obsolete in four years and/or two years of Internet access. Using online textbooks and resources, multimedia assignments, online testing and online grading weren’t just […]
The basement flooded when the washing machine went wonky. The crockpot died. The two children with a mystery virus are now walking nosebleeds. I think the youngest child has ringworm. Today was still the best day ever.
I’m going to get up in the morning at a time when nocturnal people should be in bed. I’m going to get food started and go back to bed. Nobody, especially the husband, had better wake me with the sound of rip saws, power screwdrivers, wires being snaked in drywall, fuse boxes slamming or screams […]
Somewhere in my husband’s brain, the code for cleaning has been overwritten by the code for home repair and renovation projects can be fixed only by HopkinsandPorter.com. Can someone please patch it with a holiday loophole to correct this program on major holidays?